This shall be the conclusion to all of my blog entries. Through LMS, I really learnt a lot about how to improve myself and to manage my feelings. The skills that I have learnt in LMS also help me in my interpersonal relationships and personal development.
Through anger management, I have learnt to manage my anger in the proper way thus, I will not let my anger take over me. This will also let me think much clearer when I am angry with someone as I will try to analyze situations clearly and not jump to conclusion just because I am blinded by anger.
Through listening skills, I learnt how not to listen subjectively, which means hearing things that I want to hear and not hearing what others really want to say. Another bad listening habit that I tried to kick out of it is pretending. Pretending is pretending that we are paying attention to that person but in real, we are just spacing out. I only know more about bad listening habits when I started taking LMS, and I was shock to find out that actually I have been committing these few bad listening habits without even knowing it. It was this module that let me realize about that and try to change my way of listening so that I will not be committing bad listening habits when my friends are talking to me.
And through conflicts management, we had the project that requires us to act a skit out to tell the class about the different conflicts in this society. The skit for our group was on office politics and I had fun working with people from our class. Although we may be in different courses and can only see each other once in a week, we bonded really well and did not have any sort of conflicts in our team as all of us did what we are required to do.
I really enjoyed my LMS module as each lessons, our tutor will always have an activity for us to do so that it will not be a boring and dry lesson. The activity helps us learnt things in the fun way and thus, we will remember what the lesson is all about.
For the improvements that I would like to suggest is that maybe there can me more topics for this module because one day one topic is a bit dry and draggy. All in all, I have enjoyed myself very much during LMS hope that I will have chance to take modules that are related to it.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Conflict & Teamwork
CONFLICT & TEAMWORK
For this topic on conflict and teamwork, the assignment we were given was to do a play on conflicts and present it to the class. For our group, we did on office politics. I had a great time discussing about the script because this is the first time that I did a project that requires us to do a play to present our ideas. In the play, I will be acting the part that sort of stir up the conflict. I am looking forward to present our play.
Thorough the assignment on the play, I also learnt lots from the other teammates. Such as how everyone view things differently and how different conflicts management will results in different conclusions. Conflicts management must be done well if not a conflict will not end well or the conflict will be worse.
During the lesson on conflict, our tutor let us did a questionnaire that will determine our conflict management styles. After doing the questionnaire, it determined that I am the FOX style which is the compromising style in managing conflicts. According to the notes, people who use, the compromising style will seek a compromise or middle ground when it appears that both parties cannot get what they want. They will sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to reach an agreement. They seek a conflict solution in which both sides gain something. Compromisers are moderately concerned with their own goals and their relationships with others.
This is quite true for me as I always use the fox style of managing conflicts. I will try to compromise everything so that both parties in the conflict will get what they want, although it may not be the same when compared to what they want in the first place. But if we use this method, there will not be any conflicts but people will still get what they want which will be a win-win situation for both parties.
Thorough the questionnaire, I also learnt more about the other styles of managing conflicts which consist of the TURTLE style, the SHARK style, the TEDDY style and the OWL style. This allows us to have more options in managing conflicts using the other styles.
For this topic on conflict and teamwork, the assignment we were given was to do a play on conflicts and present it to the class. For our group, we did on office politics. I had a great time discussing about the script because this is the first time that I did a project that requires us to do a play to present our ideas. In the play, I will be acting the part that sort of stir up the conflict. I am looking forward to present our play.
Thorough the assignment on the play, I also learnt lots from the other teammates. Such as how everyone view things differently and how different conflicts management will results in different conclusions. Conflicts management must be done well if not a conflict will not end well or the conflict will be worse.
During the lesson on conflict, our tutor let us did a questionnaire that will determine our conflict management styles. After doing the questionnaire, it determined that I am the FOX style which is the compromising style in managing conflicts. According to the notes, people who use, the compromising style will seek a compromise or middle ground when it appears that both parties cannot get what they want. They will sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to reach an agreement. They seek a conflict solution in which both sides gain something. Compromisers are moderately concerned with their own goals and their relationships with others.
This is quite true for me as I always use the fox style of managing conflicts. I will try to compromise everything so that both parties in the conflict will get what they want, although it may not be the same when compared to what they want in the first place. But if we use this method, there will not be any conflicts but people will still get what they want which will be a win-win situation for both parties.
Thorough the questionnaire, I also learnt more about the other styles of managing conflicts which consist of the TURTLE style, the SHARK style, the TEDDY style and the OWL style. This allows us to have more options in managing conflicts using the other styles.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Managing Anger & Listening skills
MANAGING ANGER
This is my second blog entry which will be about managing anger.
I remember during the lesson on managing anger, our tutor asked all of us to form a circle at the front of the classroom and read out the words that she wrote on the board. Words such as disappointment, envy and she will then asked us where’s the emphasize on the word.
On the second lesson, she asked us to pair up and discussed with our partner what events that happened in the past which triggered our anger, and what was it that made us so angry.
I shall start this post proper by defining anger. Anger is a natural emotional response to perceived frustration, threats, disappointments and stress. There are also strong cognitive and physiological components accompanying the emotions of anger.
When we are angry, we will display a wide range of expressions of anger from mild irritation to extreme rage. This depends on individuals, how well they manage their anger. For example, with the same stimulus, a person may display slight annoyance but another person may be outrage. Thus, we have to manage our anger well so that we will not be blinded by anger and do things that we will regret in the future.
I also remember our tutor asking us to list out what we will experience when we are angry, such as tightened muscles. Anger comes in many forms and if we are aware, we will be able to recognize the signals that will tell us that we are getting angry. We have to manage our anger as it’s not good for our health if we are experiencing anger on a regular basis.
Our tutor also taught us the COW behavioural responses to anger. C stands for CONTROL, O for OUTBURST, and W for WITHDRAWAL. Different people will have different reactions when they are angry, some choose to control themselves, some will have outburst and express their anger out. Some will choose to withdraw, coop themselves in a place where no one can find them and reflect on what made them so angry or just to escape from reality.
According to the notes, cognitive therapists work on the theory that negative thinking cause us to feel angry and negative. Negative thinking often precedes anger and they happen so fast that we hardly notice them. Although not all negative thoughts lead to anger but when they are distorted or irrational, they can powerfully affect your mood and your response to the situation.
So basically, the lesson on managing anger teaches us how to manage our anger, the definition of anger, how to express our anger so that it’s the most effective and constructive. The lesson also teaches us the negative impacts if we do not manage our anger well. So after this lesson, I learned more about how to manage my anger, as well as the correct way of managing my anger so that others will not be affected by the outburst of my anger.
LISTENING SKILLS
I still remember the activity that we did in class, in our group, one of us had to sit on a chair away from the other group members and our tutor will give the person who was sitting on a chair a page with picture on it. The group member who was sitting on the chair need to describe to the other group members what the picture on that page looks like. The other group members also had to ask questions so that they will know more about the picture as they had to draw the thing out base on what they know, and the descriptions of the only group member who can look at the picture.
I was the one who can look at the picture that our tutor gave me; I remembered that it was a picture of a beaver. I had to sit with my back to the group and described how the beaver looks like so that my group members can draw it out. It was difficult to convey my message across as I had to sit back facing them thus, there was no eye contact and my group members could not really understand what I was describing. I was kind of frustrated because they don’t seem to get what I was telling them. It was from there that I realized that good listening skills really matters, because if you are talking to a person with bad listening skills, I guess you will get kind of pissed off.
During the lesson on listening, our tutor also pasted different kind of listening skills around our classroom and each of us had to go out one at a time to read and memorize the content under that listening skill. For example, if the strip of paper is title WORD LISTENING, there will be descriptions on word listening, what it’s all about and how it happens. We are to memorize all of it and go back, read what we had memorized to our group members and they need to write it down.
This activity let us learn more about the good and bad listening skills. Sometimes we commit some of these listening mistakes and we don’t even realize it, such as pretending. Sometimes when the lecturers or tutors are teaching, I will tend to pretend that I’m listening to them, when I’m just spacing out or what teenagers nowadays refer to, “stoning”, once in a while nodding to what they are saying pretending to them as if I’m listening to what they are teaching.
In the past, I thought that at least I pretended that I was listening to the lecturer or tutor, that’s better than not listening at all. After the lesson on listening, I realized that I’m totally wrong and that I need to change my attitude towards pretending and other bad listening skills that we had committed which we don’t even realized it.I will do my best to get rid of my bad listening skills and to improve on the good listening skills.
I will also pass on good listening skills to others so that there will not be miscommunications especially when we are doing group projects. In a group, everyone must have good listening skills so that there will not be miscommunications or communications breakdown, which will usually lead to conflicts in the group and thus, the project will not be well done as everyone cannot agree to everyone’s idea.
In conclusion, good listening skills are important to avoid conflicts and arguments thus, everyone need to practise good listening skills and try to get rid of their bad listening skills.
This is my second blog entry which will be about managing anger.
I remember during the lesson on managing anger, our tutor asked all of us to form a circle at the front of the classroom and read out the words that she wrote on the board. Words such as disappointment, envy and she will then asked us where’s the emphasize on the word.
On the second lesson, she asked us to pair up and discussed with our partner what events that happened in the past which triggered our anger, and what was it that made us so angry.
I shall start this post proper by defining anger. Anger is a natural emotional response to perceived frustration, threats, disappointments and stress. There are also strong cognitive and physiological components accompanying the emotions of anger.
When we are angry, we will display a wide range of expressions of anger from mild irritation to extreme rage. This depends on individuals, how well they manage their anger. For example, with the same stimulus, a person may display slight annoyance but another person may be outrage. Thus, we have to manage our anger well so that we will not be blinded by anger and do things that we will regret in the future.
I also remember our tutor asking us to list out what we will experience when we are angry, such as tightened muscles. Anger comes in many forms and if we are aware, we will be able to recognize the signals that will tell us that we are getting angry. We have to manage our anger as it’s not good for our health if we are experiencing anger on a regular basis.
Our tutor also taught us the COW behavioural responses to anger. C stands for CONTROL, O for OUTBURST, and W for WITHDRAWAL. Different people will have different reactions when they are angry, some choose to control themselves, some will have outburst and express their anger out. Some will choose to withdraw, coop themselves in a place where no one can find them and reflect on what made them so angry or just to escape from reality.
According to the notes, cognitive therapists work on the theory that negative thinking cause us to feel angry and negative. Negative thinking often precedes anger and they happen so fast that we hardly notice them. Although not all negative thoughts lead to anger but when they are distorted or irrational, they can powerfully affect your mood and your response to the situation.
So basically, the lesson on managing anger teaches us how to manage our anger, the definition of anger, how to express our anger so that it’s the most effective and constructive. The lesson also teaches us the negative impacts if we do not manage our anger well. So after this lesson, I learned more about how to manage my anger, as well as the correct way of managing my anger so that others will not be affected by the outburst of my anger.
LISTENING SKILLS
I still remember the activity that we did in class, in our group, one of us had to sit on a chair away from the other group members and our tutor will give the person who was sitting on a chair a page with picture on it. The group member who was sitting on the chair need to describe to the other group members what the picture on that page looks like. The other group members also had to ask questions so that they will know more about the picture as they had to draw the thing out base on what they know, and the descriptions of the only group member who can look at the picture.
I was the one who can look at the picture that our tutor gave me; I remembered that it was a picture of a beaver. I had to sit with my back to the group and described how the beaver looks like so that my group members can draw it out. It was difficult to convey my message across as I had to sit back facing them thus, there was no eye contact and my group members could not really understand what I was describing. I was kind of frustrated because they don’t seem to get what I was telling them. It was from there that I realized that good listening skills really matters, because if you are talking to a person with bad listening skills, I guess you will get kind of pissed off.
During the lesson on listening, our tutor also pasted different kind of listening skills around our classroom and each of us had to go out one at a time to read and memorize the content under that listening skill. For example, if the strip of paper is title WORD LISTENING, there will be descriptions on word listening, what it’s all about and how it happens. We are to memorize all of it and go back, read what we had memorized to our group members and they need to write it down.
This activity let us learn more about the good and bad listening skills. Sometimes we commit some of these listening mistakes and we don’t even realize it, such as pretending. Sometimes when the lecturers or tutors are teaching, I will tend to pretend that I’m listening to them, when I’m just spacing out or what teenagers nowadays refer to, “stoning”, once in a while nodding to what they are saying pretending to them as if I’m listening to what they are teaching.
In the past, I thought that at least I pretended that I was listening to the lecturer or tutor, that’s better than not listening at all. After the lesson on listening, I realized that I’m totally wrong and that I need to change my attitude towards pretending and other bad listening skills that we had committed which we don’t even realized it.I will do my best to get rid of my bad listening skills and to improve on the good listening skills.
I will also pass on good listening skills to others so that there will not be miscommunications especially when we are doing group projects. In a group, everyone must have good listening skills so that there will not be miscommunications or communications breakdown, which will usually lead to conflicts in the group and thus, the project will not be well done as everyone cannot agree to everyone’s idea.
In conclusion, good listening skills are important to avoid conflicts and arguments thus, everyone need to practise good listening skills and try to get rid of their bad listening skills.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Self awareness and Self esteem
Self-Awareness and Self-Esteem, I’m sure we have all come across these two terms in our life, but wad does these two terms means exactly?
To me, self-awareness is an understanding of who you are and self esteem is how confident you are of yourself.
Self-awareness is important as it is the image we have of ourselves. If we do not have self awareness, we may not be able to make the right decisions in our life and ends up suffering and regretting. Self awareness allows us to show others who we really are and to let others have a unique impression of us. Self awareness allows us to present ourselves to others in the appropriate way. Self awareness also allows us to cope with and respond in the correct way when face with negative comments or difficult situations. Self awareness also allows us to communicate to others more effectively.
Self esteem is important as a person with self esteem is confident and thinks positively compared to one who has low self esteem. People with self esteem will not have doubts about themselves and will not be affected in a negative way when met with setbacks. People with low self esteem tend to have doubts about themselves and are easily defeated by minor set backs. This affects their performance negatively compared to those with self esteem as people with low self esteem will think that they are not worthy and inferior. This results in not putting in hundred percent of what they really are and the this further demoralized them as they feel more inferior as their performance is not as good as others.
Although self awareness and self esteem is good for us but if we are overly self aware or overly confident may also affects us negatively. Overly self aware and confident will lead us to unrealistic perceptions of ourselves and make us proud and arrogant. This will also results in negative impacts such as not having friends by your side.
To enhance our self awareness we can constantly reflect and observe ourselves, be more open to others, interact more with others and to find out what they think of you.
To enhance self esteem, we can try to find out our strengths and to appreciate it, learnt to accept your weakness and try to cover up our weakness using out strengths, to view setbacks and negative remarks as a new lesson learnt and not to dull on about it.
I remember the first lesson when we are supposed to put the score beside a list of adjectives and share it with our group and I found out that what others see in me is not necessarily the same as what I thought I am. I am a person with not quite high self esteem and self awareness as I always plan for the worse and don’t really believe in myself. Although others may see me as a loud person who speaks and talks confidently and loudly but I guess that’s just a protective color I’ve made for myself, to disguise myself up so that others will not see the other side of me.
I’m those who will be scared that I will have no friends in a new environment and will be suspicious and wonder if others are discussing bad stuffs about me behind my back.
I shall try and improve on my self awareness and self esteem so that I can be a better person.
To me, self-awareness is an understanding of who you are and self esteem is how confident you are of yourself.
Self-awareness is important as it is the image we have of ourselves. If we do not have self awareness, we may not be able to make the right decisions in our life and ends up suffering and regretting. Self awareness allows us to show others who we really are and to let others have a unique impression of us. Self awareness allows us to present ourselves to others in the appropriate way. Self awareness also allows us to cope with and respond in the correct way when face with negative comments or difficult situations. Self awareness also allows us to communicate to others more effectively.
Self esteem is important as a person with self esteem is confident and thinks positively compared to one who has low self esteem. People with self esteem will not have doubts about themselves and will not be affected in a negative way when met with setbacks. People with low self esteem tend to have doubts about themselves and are easily defeated by minor set backs. This affects their performance negatively compared to those with self esteem as people with low self esteem will think that they are not worthy and inferior. This results in not putting in hundred percent of what they really are and the this further demoralized them as they feel more inferior as their performance is not as good as others.
Although self awareness and self esteem is good for us but if we are overly self aware or overly confident may also affects us negatively. Overly self aware and confident will lead us to unrealistic perceptions of ourselves and make us proud and arrogant. This will also results in negative impacts such as not having friends by your side.
To enhance our self awareness we can constantly reflect and observe ourselves, be more open to others, interact more with others and to find out what they think of you.
To enhance self esteem, we can try to find out our strengths and to appreciate it, learnt to accept your weakness and try to cover up our weakness using out strengths, to view setbacks and negative remarks as a new lesson learnt and not to dull on about it.
I remember the first lesson when we are supposed to put the score beside a list of adjectives and share it with our group and I found out that what others see in me is not necessarily the same as what I thought I am. I am a person with not quite high self esteem and self awareness as I always plan for the worse and don’t really believe in myself. Although others may see me as a loud person who speaks and talks confidently and loudly but I guess that’s just a protective color I’ve made for myself, to disguise myself up so that others will not see the other side of me.
I’m those who will be scared that I will have no friends in a new environment and will be suspicious and wonder if others are discussing bad stuffs about me behind my back.
I shall try and improve on my self awareness and self esteem so that I can be a better person.
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