CONFLICT & TEAMWORK
For this topic on conflict and teamwork, the assignment we were given was to do a play on conflicts and present it to the class. For our group, we did on office politics. I had a great time discussing about the script because this is the first time that I did a project that requires us to do a play to present our ideas. In the play, I will be acting the part that sort of stir up the conflict. I am looking forward to present our play.
Thorough the assignment on the play, I also learnt lots from the other teammates. Such as how everyone view things differently and how different conflicts management will results in different conclusions. Conflicts management must be done well if not a conflict will not end well or the conflict will be worse.
During the lesson on conflict, our tutor let us did a questionnaire that will determine our conflict management styles. After doing the questionnaire, it determined that I am the FOX style which is the compromising style in managing conflicts. According to the notes, people who use, the compromising style will seek a compromise or middle ground when it appears that both parties cannot get what they want. They will sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to reach an agreement. They seek a conflict solution in which both sides gain something. Compromisers are moderately concerned with their own goals and their relationships with others.
This is quite true for me as I always use the fox style of managing conflicts. I will try to compromise everything so that both parties in the conflict will get what they want, although it may not be the same when compared to what they want in the first place. But if we use this method, there will not be any conflicts but people will still get what they want which will be a win-win situation for both parties.
Thorough the questionnaire, I also learnt more about the other styles of managing conflicts which consist of the TURTLE style, the SHARK style, the TEDDY style and the OWL style. This allows us to have more options in managing conflicts using the other styles.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Managing Anger & Listening skills
MANAGING ANGER
This is my second blog entry which will be about managing anger.
I remember during the lesson on managing anger, our tutor asked all of us to form a circle at the front of the classroom and read out the words that she wrote on the board. Words such as disappointment, envy and she will then asked us where’s the emphasize on the word.
On the second lesson, she asked us to pair up and discussed with our partner what events that happened in the past which triggered our anger, and what was it that made us so angry.
I shall start this post proper by defining anger. Anger is a natural emotional response to perceived frustration, threats, disappointments and stress. There are also strong cognitive and physiological components accompanying the emotions of anger.
When we are angry, we will display a wide range of expressions of anger from mild irritation to extreme rage. This depends on individuals, how well they manage their anger. For example, with the same stimulus, a person may display slight annoyance but another person may be outrage. Thus, we have to manage our anger well so that we will not be blinded by anger and do things that we will regret in the future.
I also remember our tutor asking us to list out what we will experience when we are angry, such as tightened muscles. Anger comes in many forms and if we are aware, we will be able to recognize the signals that will tell us that we are getting angry. We have to manage our anger as it’s not good for our health if we are experiencing anger on a regular basis.
Our tutor also taught us the COW behavioural responses to anger. C stands for CONTROL, O for OUTBURST, and W for WITHDRAWAL. Different people will have different reactions when they are angry, some choose to control themselves, some will have outburst and express their anger out. Some will choose to withdraw, coop themselves in a place where no one can find them and reflect on what made them so angry or just to escape from reality.
According to the notes, cognitive therapists work on the theory that negative thinking cause us to feel angry and negative. Negative thinking often precedes anger and they happen so fast that we hardly notice them. Although not all negative thoughts lead to anger but when they are distorted or irrational, they can powerfully affect your mood and your response to the situation.
So basically, the lesson on managing anger teaches us how to manage our anger, the definition of anger, how to express our anger so that it’s the most effective and constructive. The lesson also teaches us the negative impacts if we do not manage our anger well. So after this lesson, I learned more about how to manage my anger, as well as the correct way of managing my anger so that others will not be affected by the outburst of my anger.
LISTENING SKILLS
I still remember the activity that we did in class, in our group, one of us had to sit on a chair away from the other group members and our tutor will give the person who was sitting on a chair a page with picture on it. The group member who was sitting on the chair need to describe to the other group members what the picture on that page looks like. The other group members also had to ask questions so that they will know more about the picture as they had to draw the thing out base on what they know, and the descriptions of the only group member who can look at the picture.
I was the one who can look at the picture that our tutor gave me; I remembered that it was a picture of a beaver. I had to sit with my back to the group and described how the beaver looks like so that my group members can draw it out. It was difficult to convey my message across as I had to sit back facing them thus, there was no eye contact and my group members could not really understand what I was describing. I was kind of frustrated because they don’t seem to get what I was telling them. It was from there that I realized that good listening skills really matters, because if you are talking to a person with bad listening skills, I guess you will get kind of pissed off.
During the lesson on listening, our tutor also pasted different kind of listening skills around our classroom and each of us had to go out one at a time to read and memorize the content under that listening skill. For example, if the strip of paper is title WORD LISTENING, there will be descriptions on word listening, what it’s all about and how it happens. We are to memorize all of it and go back, read what we had memorized to our group members and they need to write it down.
This activity let us learn more about the good and bad listening skills. Sometimes we commit some of these listening mistakes and we don’t even realize it, such as pretending. Sometimes when the lecturers or tutors are teaching, I will tend to pretend that I’m listening to them, when I’m just spacing out or what teenagers nowadays refer to, “stoning”, once in a while nodding to what they are saying pretending to them as if I’m listening to what they are teaching.
In the past, I thought that at least I pretended that I was listening to the lecturer or tutor, that’s better than not listening at all. After the lesson on listening, I realized that I’m totally wrong and that I need to change my attitude towards pretending and other bad listening skills that we had committed which we don’t even realized it.I will do my best to get rid of my bad listening skills and to improve on the good listening skills.
I will also pass on good listening skills to others so that there will not be miscommunications especially when we are doing group projects. In a group, everyone must have good listening skills so that there will not be miscommunications or communications breakdown, which will usually lead to conflicts in the group and thus, the project will not be well done as everyone cannot agree to everyone’s idea.
In conclusion, good listening skills are important to avoid conflicts and arguments thus, everyone need to practise good listening skills and try to get rid of their bad listening skills.
This is my second blog entry which will be about managing anger.
I remember during the lesson on managing anger, our tutor asked all of us to form a circle at the front of the classroom and read out the words that she wrote on the board. Words such as disappointment, envy and she will then asked us where’s the emphasize on the word.
On the second lesson, she asked us to pair up and discussed with our partner what events that happened in the past which triggered our anger, and what was it that made us so angry.
I shall start this post proper by defining anger. Anger is a natural emotional response to perceived frustration, threats, disappointments and stress. There are also strong cognitive and physiological components accompanying the emotions of anger.
When we are angry, we will display a wide range of expressions of anger from mild irritation to extreme rage. This depends on individuals, how well they manage their anger. For example, with the same stimulus, a person may display slight annoyance but another person may be outrage. Thus, we have to manage our anger well so that we will not be blinded by anger and do things that we will regret in the future.
I also remember our tutor asking us to list out what we will experience when we are angry, such as tightened muscles. Anger comes in many forms and if we are aware, we will be able to recognize the signals that will tell us that we are getting angry. We have to manage our anger as it’s not good for our health if we are experiencing anger on a regular basis.
Our tutor also taught us the COW behavioural responses to anger. C stands for CONTROL, O for OUTBURST, and W for WITHDRAWAL. Different people will have different reactions when they are angry, some choose to control themselves, some will have outburst and express their anger out. Some will choose to withdraw, coop themselves in a place where no one can find them and reflect on what made them so angry or just to escape from reality.
According to the notes, cognitive therapists work on the theory that negative thinking cause us to feel angry and negative. Negative thinking often precedes anger and they happen so fast that we hardly notice them. Although not all negative thoughts lead to anger but when they are distorted or irrational, they can powerfully affect your mood and your response to the situation.
So basically, the lesson on managing anger teaches us how to manage our anger, the definition of anger, how to express our anger so that it’s the most effective and constructive. The lesson also teaches us the negative impacts if we do not manage our anger well. So after this lesson, I learned more about how to manage my anger, as well as the correct way of managing my anger so that others will not be affected by the outburst of my anger.
LISTENING SKILLS
I still remember the activity that we did in class, in our group, one of us had to sit on a chair away from the other group members and our tutor will give the person who was sitting on a chair a page with picture on it. The group member who was sitting on the chair need to describe to the other group members what the picture on that page looks like. The other group members also had to ask questions so that they will know more about the picture as they had to draw the thing out base on what they know, and the descriptions of the only group member who can look at the picture.
I was the one who can look at the picture that our tutor gave me; I remembered that it was a picture of a beaver. I had to sit with my back to the group and described how the beaver looks like so that my group members can draw it out. It was difficult to convey my message across as I had to sit back facing them thus, there was no eye contact and my group members could not really understand what I was describing. I was kind of frustrated because they don’t seem to get what I was telling them. It was from there that I realized that good listening skills really matters, because if you are talking to a person with bad listening skills, I guess you will get kind of pissed off.
During the lesson on listening, our tutor also pasted different kind of listening skills around our classroom and each of us had to go out one at a time to read and memorize the content under that listening skill. For example, if the strip of paper is title WORD LISTENING, there will be descriptions on word listening, what it’s all about and how it happens. We are to memorize all of it and go back, read what we had memorized to our group members and they need to write it down.
This activity let us learn more about the good and bad listening skills. Sometimes we commit some of these listening mistakes and we don’t even realize it, such as pretending. Sometimes when the lecturers or tutors are teaching, I will tend to pretend that I’m listening to them, when I’m just spacing out or what teenagers nowadays refer to, “stoning”, once in a while nodding to what they are saying pretending to them as if I’m listening to what they are teaching.
In the past, I thought that at least I pretended that I was listening to the lecturer or tutor, that’s better than not listening at all. After the lesson on listening, I realized that I’m totally wrong and that I need to change my attitude towards pretending and other bad listening skills that we had committed which we don’t even realized it.I will do my best to get rid of my bad listening skills and to improve on the good listening skills.
I will also pass on good listening skills to others so that there will not be miscommunications especially when we are doing group projects. In a group, everyone must have good listening skills so that there will not be miscommunications or communications breakdown, which will usually lead to conflicts in the group and thus, the project will not be well done as everyone cannot agree to everyone’s idea.
In conclusion, good listening skills are important to avoid conflicts and arguments thus, everyone need to practise good listening skills and try to get rid of their bad listening skills.
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